I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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