My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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