Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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