yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no, he came in my armpit
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
