He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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