my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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