"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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