I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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