Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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