i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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