Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
