Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
