How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize