Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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