Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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