Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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