At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
