Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
