You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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