Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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