Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
