Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
