We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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