need another drink. this is the easiest way
id be glad to
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this boner is exhausting
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
