Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
