it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
