Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
