he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
