Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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