Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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