Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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