i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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