On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
