Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
