Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
