Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
