I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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