yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
