So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
