you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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