Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My balls are so social today.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
