If that was your dad, he is hot
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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