When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
