I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
