if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
