And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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