PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
