You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
