Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Someone signed my nipple.
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