Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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