I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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