Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
