I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
