is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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