You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
