i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
