when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
