I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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