Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted