Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us