gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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