This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
