ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
